By Anna Quast, 2022-2023 BSVM Alumni | Graduate of Notre Dame

My year with BSVM was filled with many blessings, and every day my housemates and I found ourselves reflecting on the way God is present to us in the people we encounter, the community we build, and in the little beauties of the everyday. Two years after my service year had concluded, I have found that it now takes more intention to reflect on my day-to-day in the way my housemates and I did on a regular basis. Even so, I do find myself pausing from time to time to reflect on encounters I have at work, with my family, and in nature. Early this year, my experiences serving with Bon Secours Hospice continued to bless my life in a more pronounced way. In March, my grandfather passed away peacefully on hospice care, and, in the months following, I reflected on his passing, drawing connections to a special relationship I had with a particular hospice patient I visited weekly during my service year.

The most impactful relationship I formed while serving with hospice was with a patient I visited every week for about six months up until she passed. Mrs. B, as I will refer to her, and I would sit together on her couch for our four-hour visits. Sometimes she would have Hallmark shows on, sometimes I would help her eat her lunch, and sometimes we would just sit there together in silence, being present with one another. Mrs. B was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, and, in our time together, our conversation did not consist of many words. Mrs. B, however, was always one for a smile, quiet laugh, and the occasional “I love you!” or “you be good!” as I was saying goodbye to her for the day. One particular memory I have of Mrs. B was when she finished eating a granola bar, and I put out my hand, offering to take her wrapper to throw away. Instead, she placed her hand in mine and laughed, and I suddenly forgot about whatever I was trying to do or help her with, wanting to just be present with her. The rest of our visit consisted of us just sitting together, holding hands, and sharing a few smiles.

My visits with Mrs. B, her tendency to make me smile with her gentle laughs, and the peace I felt being present with her often reminded me of my grandfather. He had this calm about him that brought peace to those he was with, and he was so full of life, bringing smiles and laughter to everyone he encountered with his goofy faces, witty remarks, and lighthearted antics. My grandfather was also diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease, and, as his disease progressed, our visits also consisted more of the occasional smile, laugh, and simple exchange. The similarities between my days with Mrs. B and my relationship with my grandfather often had me reflecting on the beauty in simple presence. Mrs. B and I did not have a detailed conversation, but the depth we did share sitting side by side for hours was an important blessing and lesson for me. In my closing reflection for BSVM, I shared how she taught me that I can connect with others, especially with my grandfather, simply with a smile, a laugh, and just by being present to one another.

My last visits with my grandfather were about two months before he passed. I remember sitting next to him in his room, holding his hand, sharing a few smiles, and listening to some Frank Sinatra. On the last day of our visit, I remember sitting at the kitchen table in his group home, holding one of his hands while my mom held his other. I didn’t know at the time it would be our last visit, but I am comforted knowing that my last moments with him in person were moments of peaceful presence. My grandmother even took a picture of us holding hands, and I am grateful that I get to have that picture to remember that moment.

As I looked back on that last visit after his passing, I was reminded of Mrs. B and the way that God was present to me in the quiet presence, the shared smiles, and the simple holding of hands in my visits with them both. Reflecting on this connection has brought me considerable healing and peace with my  grandfather’s passing. It has also brought me back to the charism of the Sisters of Bon Secours–Compassion, Healing, and Liberation. Mrs. B and my grandfather were both people who approached others with compassion. Even though I knew Mrs. B, for a short while, she always brought a healing presence to our visits, just as my grandfather knew to heal with a smile and a laugh. I felt a wholeness in their presence that I know was God loving me. This knowledge brought me peace two years ago when Mrs. B passed, and it has brought me peace this year after my grandfather’s passing. I am grateful for the intentionality BSVM fostered for my housemates and me, providing us with opportunities to cultivate the ministry of presence and practice reflection. As the fruits of BSVM have touched my life this year, I know they will continue to do so in the years to come.